Dealing with Difficult Conversations with Markku Kauppinen

Mark McGraw sits down with Markku Kauppinen, an expert on conversations and behavioral styles, particularly the DISC model.

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Markku shares practical strategies for handling difficult conversations and reframing how we think about “difficult people.” Learn how to stay calm under pressure, use emotional control to close the deal, and lead more productive sales conversations.

• Markku starts by highlighting why the phrase “difficult people” sets us up for conflict. When you reframe it as “different people,” you open the door to empathy and better conversations.
• Mark adds that your expectations shape your interactions. If you go in expecting a fight, you’ll likely get one.
• Markku shares how some prospects treat salespeople poorly because they believe being the customer gives them power.
• You can’t make good decisions from an emotional state. Markku explains that when you're overwhelmed by emotion — whether it's frustration, stress, or anger — your brain goes into survival mode. Rational thinking takes a back seat, and impulsive reactions take the wheel.
• Markku challenges the idea that “the customer is always right.” No one is always right and holding clients to that standard helps you maintain healthy boundaries.
• Learn why emotional control is non-negotiable. According to Markku, strong emotions like anger or stress make it nearly impossible to lead with clarity or communicate effectively.
• Markku explains how people know when they’re being difficult. Handle tension maturely, and you win their respect.
• Feel the trigger coming? Take a pause and breathe. Ask a clarifying question instead of defending yourself. Let silence do the heavy lifting. When you stop reacting and start observing, the entire conversation changes.
• Markku shares a practical habit: journal before tough conversations. Writing your thoughts helps you stay grounded and less reactive, especially when you meet difficult customers.
• Learn how to de-escalate when a client is difficult from the start. Markku recommends asking thoughtful questions that bring the conversation back to logic.
• Markku explains why not every comment deserves a reply. Sometimes, silence or redirection can get you what you want.
• Mark and Marku agree that emotional self-regulation starts at home. Markku says the home is the perfect training ground because it's where our reactions and emotions are most unfiltered.
• Markku shares how salespeople can use the DISC model to navigate personalities with more precision.
• Markku breaks down the core traits of each DISC style:
  • D: Dominance: Bold and results-oriented
  • I: Influence: Outgoing and persuasive
  • S: Supportive and steady
  • C: Conscientiousness: Precise and analytical
• Markku emphasizes that sales is about solving problems, not about being liked.
• Markku breaks down the population breakdown of DISC types. D types are only 9.3% of people, i types 24.4%, S types 34.8%, and C types 31.4%.
• Markku shares that there’s a global rise in stress. Higher stress levels mean more difficult conversations, and more need for emotional intelligence.

Mentioned in This Episode:

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Sandler.com

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Markku Kauppinen on LinkedIn

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